here's wishing you the bluest skies

So, every year since I can remember I have journaled (usually on paper) about the best and the worst of each year...I thought a few years ago I would start doing a lighter version on my blog. So here's my verdict for the last year of my 20's.

2009

• Best book: The History of Love by Nicole Krauss (lovely wife of winner of my best book last year, Jonathan Safran Foer)
• Best movie-drama: Brothers
• Best movie-comedy: Julie & Julia (I don't think it was billed as a comedy, but I thought it was hilarious at times)
• Best performance (onscreen): Colin Firth, A Single Man
• Best play: My First Time, Unicorn Theatre (I need to see more plays that aren't starring my personal leading man)
• Best musical: Into the Woods (KC Rep Theatre)
• Best live musical performance: Martin Sexton, Crosstown Station, Kansas City
• Best day: My 29th birthday definitely is near the top of the list
• Best gift: My new digital camera (thanks Dad)
• Best new recipe: Chicken/Broccoli/BrownRice skillet
• Best new gadget: my scanner for scrapbooking
• Best thing to watch on TV: LOST & House (three year favorites and running)
• Best new show on TV: Flash Forward
• Best vacation: NYC (although it was the only vaction I went on this year, strange how I never go to the airport anymore since Keenan's tour is over)
• Best babies: It's a tie...but here they are in birth order: Reese Quinn & Hannah Thiel (last year was the year of the boy, this year brought the gals!)

Have a happy & healthy 2010!
title courtesy of Dar Williams: Better Days

I'd swim across lake Michigan, I'd sell my shoes.

I am ready to do another "weekend agenda" post. I want another weekend. I want another weekend like this one. I got to see two lovely films, went out to dinner with my brother & Keenan, finished my Christmas shopping, finished wrapping presents & making cards, had lunch in the River Market with Josie, spent some time on the phone with my mom, sister and Bre.

I saw A Single Man, there is a lot of buzz about this film, especially about Colin Firth. I thought Colin was amazing---I didn't see "Colin Firth" I believed his character completely and loved the screenplay. It was close to perfection

Also saw An Education, buzz about this for the actress, Carey Mulligan and the movie. I thought the screenplay was good. I liked Carey Mulligan (who also has a bit part in the film Brothers) but I didn't believe she was 16. The actress is 25, and her skin looked 25. Makeup was poor. Also, I thought she must be the most subtle and mature 16 year old ever. I liked Carey's performance, but it could have been so perfect if just once we could have seen the beautiful disaster that is "love at 16 years old".

title courtesy of Sufjan Stevens: To be alone with you

my heart is full and my door's always open, you come any time you want

It's roughly 30 days away from my 30th birthday. 2009 didn't quite bring what I was thinking it would. But alas, I must be just where I am supposed to be.

It's interesting how later in life you can see the same thing differently. Here are some things I see differently now.

Pop Culture Miscellany
1. Scarlett O'Hara (Gone w/ the Wind) was a fool. I used to love her, identify with her. Now I just realize how much she lied to herself.

2. Daisy Buchanan (The Great Gatsby) was a horrible person. I first identified with her, then Gatsby and now I am somewhere between Gatsby and the narrator Nick Carraway.

3. All those songs about secret love affairs are not romantic. They are sad.

4. I hope Jay Z is wrong. I don't want 30 to be "the new 20". I don't need to be "hot still". I just want to be better.

Life Miscellany

1. My mother was always right.

2. You can no more make someone love you than you can make the sun rise.

3. Everything cannot be your fault, unless you are also all powerful. (I am not, therefore, it isn't all my fault).

4. There will always be someone who is prettier, and younger.

5. I am no longer attracted to musicians. In my early twenties I was enamored with musicians as a whole. No one can break your heart like someone who uses your life/words/fights/quirks as material later, and then writes it into essential immortality.

6. It isn't all my fault, but some of it was.

7. Forgiving yourself feels better than losing 10 pounds. It might even look better than losing 10 pounds.

title courtesy of Maroon 5: She will be loved

your faith was strong, but you needed proof

found here

The weekend flew by. Knocked some things off the weekend agenda...

• The movie Brothers was intensely fantastic and has me all ready for Oscar season. Jake Gyllenhal was fabulous, and Toby Maguire had a strong performance. Also the screenplay is AMAZING. So real.
• Randy's (step-dad) 50th birthday party went well. We met in Topeka at Outback Steakhouse. My niece and I colored. She wanted to order ribs, she's 4.
• About half of my Christmas shopping is done
• Baking was successful
• Watched Four Christmases on demand and thought it was cutely typical
• Meaningful amounts of hot liquids (tea & cocoa)
• Watched FB with Dad, Cam & Matt at Kites in Shawnee
• Missed my girlfriends but kept up with their antics via text message
• Read a self-help book that did not help me

title courtesy of Jeff Buckley, Hallejuah (although I prefer to listen to the Rufus Wainwright cover of it)

So we must love while these moments are still called "today"

An update of sorts was called for, by the masses (actually only by Kate). But really, I've been meaning to get on here anyway.

So I've had this "sinus infection" since October. I couldn't hear, I couldn't breathe and I've had a terrible headache, and strangely the more I rested the worse I felt. I had anti-biotics and they didn't work, so then I went back to the doctor thinking I needed another round of antibiotics. She told me everything looked to be an uncontrolled allergy. Allergy to what? I became horrified that mold must be growing unseen in my apartment, that I had suddenly grown allergic to Keenan or something. I started taking my Zyrtec and Flonase, usually reserved for hay fever season and started to feel a little better. Then I sat down last Friday night and began to watch The Medium.

The episode showed the medium, Alison getting a round of tests from FEMA...and the technician asked her "Are you sleeping on a feather pillow, you shouldn't be, you're allergic." Interesting. Then I began to think of how I sleep on all feather pillows (3 of them) and with a down comforter. If I was allergic to feathers I was seriously sabotaging myself. Intrerestingly, my brother, sister and father are allergic to feather pillows. Time for a clinical trial.

So, for the past 5 nights, no feathers in my sleeping environment, keep taking the allergy stuff, because the doctor mentioned that the allergic reaction in my sinuses was significant. I am now waking up without a headache. My ears are slowly (very slowly) receding in pressure and I am feeling less congestion.

I am realizing I may have found the solution without having to make an appointment with an allergist. Fingers crossed, I keep improving.

Onto all things weekend: Last weekend was abysmal. I was on-call. Sometimes that means nothing, no one calls all weekend. Other times, like last weekend, it is hell on wheels.

However in the midst of chaos I still had time for a dinner date with Keenan at my favorite restuarant Blanc Burgers & Bottles, and we also procured decor decorated our Christmas tree-- it's very matchy in shades of coffee gold, white lights and a bird topper. It even has one present beneath it, for a girl that hated Christmas, I have come a long way.

I am so happy to turn my phone off this weekend for things like...

Farragut Northat the Unicorn
the film Brothers
Finishing up Christmas shopping & a little crafting
Baking (yeah!) for a mandatory cookie exchange at work (6 doz, it's brutal, boo)
NFL Football
Copious amounts of cocoa

title courtesy of the Indigo Girls, History of Us

Happy Birthday dear Tiernan!

My nephew Tiernan is one today! I got to see him last weekend but unfortunately had to miss his big day today. From the videos and picture mail I keep getting it looks like he is having a fine day!

took awhile to understand the beauty of just letting go

play along @ category stories

The prompt was "the best gift you've ever received". There is not much I love more than going to see a film. ET was the best gift (experience) ever from both my parents. It is the only memory I have of all three of us going to a movie together, and it was my first one. I bawled when ET had to leave Eliott behind. In fact I bawled out of the theatre, and all the way home and would get quite emotional talking about it for months afterward. Nothing has really ever had such an emotional impact as that "larger than life" first time at the theater.

I'd love to hear about your best gift ever.

title courtesy of Patty Griffin, Let Him Fly