Tuesday, September 15, 2015

A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather

When on the first day of your significant other's 28 day in-patient treatment you dream that you were on a ship together and so in love that the other people admired you and then you get separated. It doesn't take a lot of experience in dream interpretation to see what your subconscious was trying to process.

It was just one of those awful dreams where it mostly makes sense so you can't even feel better due to the absurdity of it. We were on a steamboat and at one of the stops we got out and jet skied and we got in the ocean. The water was clear like the gulf is where Nick lives. So we didn't bring our phones. (I have been mad at myself since August that I didn't bring my phone with us into the water because I have no pictures from that day in the ocean). Then we stopped at a chocolatier and got treats and then we were supposed to get back on the boat. I did but I couldn't find Nick. 

All the way back to shore I screamed for him through the crowded boat but he was nowhere. Then I watched 3 boats after ours come ashore and he was nowhere. 

I miss the ability to write him messages. During deployment I could FB message or email and when he's stateside we text throughout every day. 

So I started this and a journal. With all the stuff I would say. I can say it at night on our 15 minute phone time (no FaceTime which is also hard). Or I might just give him to it at the end. 

One whole day done. My life wasn't easy at all in any way today outside of Nick. So if I can do this I've decided to promote myself to "boss ass bitch."  

Title courtesy of Ron Pope: A drop in the ocean