'cause what she's doin' now is tearin' me apart

The subtitle of this post is: fucking food.

For the last few years I have been battling an extreme selective eater. But as a busy working single parent I am often not with my child for 3 meals a day. Then we went on a week long vacation.

Sloane eats these things and exactly these things: Quaker Oats brand chocolate chip granola bars, Velveeta Shells & Cheese, Mac and Cheese by Kraft (only the original no different shaped noodles), chocolate milk, sausage patties, bacon (but only microwaved and not if it's crunchy), Tyson chicken nuggets (only if prepared between two paper towels otherwise they are too greasy and served with only original Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce),  pancakes w/ syrup, Campbell's original condensed chicken noodle soup, occasionally a french fry or two, toast or a bagel with butter, peanut butter but rarely, chocolate or brown sugar poptarts, Chocolate chip mini muffins, bananas, Lunchables (but only the turkey and she eats only the turkey), soft pretzels with cheese, plain tortilla chips and nacho cheese, pepperonis (sometimes will eat a few bites of pizza), hotdogs (microwaved between paper towels because again, too greasy), chocolate ice cream (in a dish not a shake, no syrups or toppings), popcorn, chocolate chip cookies and Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets (although she never eats a complete one she leaves one bite of each one at the end saying it was too spicy or too crunchy or too greasy).

That's 24 foods people. Seriously.

Nothing is a big motivator. People said she will get hungry let her go hungry.  I did for 3 days. She only drank water and ate the first breakfast.

She gags over foods. Nothing no amount of bribery works. I can promise her the moon and everything on her Christmas list to try a bite of something and NOPE.

So vacation made me extremely anxious. Plus we were with my boyfriend, his two sons, and his parents for most of the time and for the first time.

Sloane had also never traveled to speak of.

The second night I sobbed myself to sleep.

It sucks that my kid has basically defined her life at this stage with this. It begins first thing in the morning with her worries and obsessing over what we will eat that day. If breakfast goes poorly it colors the whole day. Then I have to decide what to war over for the day. Every meal time and before meal time is a negotiation and I am fucking exhausted.

In the meantime do you realize how much stock we put into kids eating habits.  Being a good eater means you are a good kid, you're respectful of authority, you're healthy and growing so well. Being a picky eater, well you're none of those things and you often don't only miss out on praise you miss out on rewards.

You never get a break from this until they are asleep. And then it just starts over the next morning.  My pediatrician says not to worry, she isn't malnourished, she's growing etc. BUT for socializing and now for school lunch period this has made our lives hell.

As a parent I've bullied her, bribed her, tricked her (yes I tried the Jessica Seinfeld book) shamed her, coaxed her and starved her into trying to get her to eat and none of that feels very good for me or her.

We hardly ever go out to eat. Restaurants = stress for her and then stress for me. I'd love to go have a girls night out with her but so many reinforcers are about food in our society. Let's get coffee, go out to eat, have a frozen yogurt together, let's get donuts etc.

Holidays also make me want to just stay home and hide, because then there is the added pressure on the host/hostess to try and find something to make Sloane happy and frankly sometimes with food that just isn't possible, even if you serve one of her requests.

I'm also aware that this tends to be seen as a parent being too permissive, not insisting on nutritious foods and sometimes being selective themselves. Which does nothing to solve the problem and only serves to make the parent feel like a bigger pile of shit than they already do. Actually, I am not a selective eater. I eat extremely well, am an adventurous eater and have been from a young age. Anyone who says that a parent is too permissive is guaranteed never gone through the same problem with the same type of child.    And I am not what would be considered a permissive parent by any other standards.

Everyone knows country music is for when you are sad....title from What She's Doing Now by Garth Brooks

So show me family (The Shame Files Organization Series Week 3)

If you are having a time like mine I can see why only 2 people were able to link up this week.  My little 2 year old, Sloane has been running a fever for 3 days now.  Sigh.  Not much time for organization around here.  But I still have one little thing that will help me out today.

The two of you that did link up had the greatest trash to treasure link ups.  Your projects cost you zilch!  My favorite kind of transformations!

Brooke showed us something that we can do for ourselves or make for a gift for others.

And Meg at The Coop showed us a wonderful makeover of her dry goods for kitchen canisters.  And the best part about this one for me was that I had literally bought a canister the night before, then saw her DIY and took it back.  6$ more in my pocket.

Perfect job ladies!  I hope people will have some time to organize this week and share with us.

For my quick project this week I focused on a little thing that drives me crazy.  I loathe when I get home from work, open up my clean dishwasher full of sparkling dishes, getting ready to put them away and see a rogue dirty dish.  It seems my husband feels that if there are dishes in the dishwasher they must be dirty.  I am just not that quick to put away the clean ones folks.

And when I find that dirty fork in there it's like the whole load is ruined (it isn't I know, but my tendencies toward OCD find that hard to accept).  So in order to save more water, energy and sanity.  I created a new little thing to keep my kitchen a little more sane.

Thus, this magnet was born.  I created it using left over supplies from my Christmas coaster project, some paint, ink, a emery board to sand and ModPodg to seal, and a magnet glued to the back.  Pretty simple.  Now if I can only remind myself to change the magnet and my husband to heed it's warning.

Here's a look at another project I'm working on this week.

I am finally going to try my hand at DIY laundry detergent

title courtesy of The Lumineers Ho Hey (That sweetheart song) Don't forget to link up your solutions for diminishing shame in your life. I linked up here:

I'll breathe again (The Shame Files: Organization Series)

Is this picture enough to depress you or what?! It was for me.  It spurred me right into action and into this blog series:  The Shame Files.  

Ok, first time I've hosted a link party so I am hoping that my inlinkz link below actually functions and you can even post pics of your pretty new organized spaces. I decided that I needed a small project to begin with (so I could immediately feel less shame and more gain). Smallest space = medicine cabinet & I recently organized the linen cabinet in our hallway so I thought I could upgrade that a bit (using Pinterest ideas) and sticking to a strict budget (I spent 3 dollars). Here we are before...

I have lots of containers and lots of junk.

I scoured Pinterest and found this adorable post on a linen closet (and became a follower too!) I just loved how coordinated her closet looks but with already owning SO many organization containers I just couldn't justify buying all new ones. So I used her labeling method to try and bring cohesion into the closet. Luckily I had just bought tons of clothespins for a project for Sloane's 2nd birthday party (post on Weds!) and I had circle punched a bazillion circles for the wedding guestbook. I bought 3 new baskets at the dollar store (one for the mr., Sloane and one to stash the tampons in the back). And thus, this was born...

I feel like singing that Toni Braxton "Breathe again" song...

The top shelf stores all of our extra paper products, the second one is all mine, third has the three new basket, although the designated tampon basket lives behind the meds, fourth shelf is wash cloths, my hair towels, and wound care basket, and the fifth is pillow slips, the iron, body towels, and the bottom houses our sheet sets. So glad I didn't utilize that ugly mauve tub they gave me at the hospital. Does everyone have one of those, gross.  What do you do with it?

The next project was even more fun.  Utilizing that space in the medicine cabinet where you are incidentally advised NOT to store medication.  We are renting right now so I couldn't do the fun chalkboard on the inside of the cabinet or line the thing with corkboard but I saw a cute little cabinet on BHG.  And thought that could be something I could accomplish with everything I have and it can easily be taken along with us when we move without causing any damage to the cabinet.

I used double sided tape to affix the patterned scrapbook paper to the back of the cabinet and lined the edges of the shelves with washi tape.  This all matches our shower curtain so it's a pleasant little surprise to open and see. I got that Vera Bradley mug a few years ago in a gift exchange and it was too pretty to use, now it holds our cotton face pads. The owl has a hole in the top perfect for our scissors.

Those little jars at the top are left over wedding favors from October (which originally were baby food jars). They now house bandaids, flossers, bobby pins, tweezers/clippers, and small tubes of Abreva, & chapstick.

Even the Mr. loves it.

Please link up below and let me know what you've done this week to decrease your shame and increase your organization.  You have until next week to complete.  Can't wait to see your results!

title inspired by the old school Toni Braxton: Breathe Again song (you're welcome)

I gotta get up from this waiting at home (The Shame Files Series:Organize or Else)

Welcome, to a new blog series, that I am calling "The Shame Files". I know that "shame" is greatly looked down upon in our modern self-esteem boosting culture. But frankly shame is just what I need to motivate me into ACTION.

Here are the excuses.  We've been super busy. Step-sister got married in Aug. Brother got married in September, We got married in October. We have a two-year old.  The holidays. I lost my grandmother. We have a two year old.  In the midst of all of that we both took on freelancing jobs that made us even busier.  And thus our previously organized place became a lot less so.

Hallway bookshelf that contains a nativity snow globe, washi tape and broken frame.
Kitchen utility shelf-- dumping ground
Top of the refrigerator YIKES!! 

Hall linen closet--looks great since I spent 2 hours on it, now just to make it even better
Medicine cabinet -- wasted space
Below the bathroom sink= Keenan's area & where I hide the tampons...help!

Sloane's closet, the floor of it is littered with diaper boxes full of clothing that she has outgrown
And the shame-de-resistance:  the current state of our bedroom.  DOUBLE HELP.

I wanted to attack the clutter in our home and get back to some normalcy, but I knew I just didn't have the gumption to do it without a little more motivation. Thus, this blog series was born. There are even more things in our house that need organized (gasp, I know it's shameful). So each week I will post one of the shameful sins and the progress I am making. Until I can too be called one of Oprah's Highly Organized saints.

Of course every battle needs weapons and I have mine.

(Semi)Public shame = motivation
Pinterest = inspiration

I'd love to have any of you join me in my shame, misery loves company.  I will be having a link party on Tuesdays and would love to steal your ideas to use in my next post see your progress.

For this week I will be perfecting the linen closet, because I believe in immediate gratification.  Here's a cute idea I saw on Pinterest (duh).

Great post on organizing her linen closet, and I have to steal the labeling w/ the clothes pins

title courtesy of the Counting Crows: children in bloom