On her weekends at dad's she can stay up later (it's the weekend and he doesn't have an early bedtime for her) and she is allowed to sleep with her dad, even if she wasn't sleeping next to him his apartment is tiny, she's right next to him at all times.
On any night she is with me. We start the bedtime routine at 7:15 and she goes to bed at 8pm. Recently she then starts screaming, spouting off mean things ("you're a terrible mom"), crying and getting up until around 10 pm. 2 hours of hell, on the nightly.
The routine at bedtime is already an absurd checklist of nearly 100 things. Singing multiple songs, reading, praying, rocking, teeth brushing, cold water drinking, going potty, getting on the right jammies, applying eczema cream, turning on the fan, 3 night lights, monster spray, tucking in, hugs and kisses, collecting items to sleep with, sound machine...list items ad nauseum.
So I have decided that this is the week that I stick to the behavior plan for this behavior. All human behavior has a purpose: to attain (attention, or access to preferred items/tangibles, reinforcement (i.e. the behavior itself is reinforcing) or to escape/avoid (attention, task, setting, demand). Stalling behavior before bed is to escape bedtime. After I leave the room the function is to gain my attention/presence in the room. Type of presence wanted: (angry mommy or comforting mommy) non-discriminate.
|"I'm never going to bed." (actual quote, daily)|
|But during the day she's so sweet...|
|The aftermath of 1 hour and 49 minutes of screaming, crying and throwing things...|
So for the last three nights the data is as follows...duration of tantrum 2 hrs, 1 hour 49 minutes, and 49 minutes. By the time we get down to a manageable amount of time it will be time to break our routine again. Sigh...
Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona where we lay our scene...
title from Kenny Chesney and Grace Potter (it's one of those addiction songs you get addicted to): you and tequila