Sunday, November 30, 2008
thanksgiving was perfect. really. spent lots of time in salina. wednesday-sunday. got some great deals on black friday, including 2 pairs of jeans and some oh-so-chic-black-boots. plus, of course, some gifts.
i might actually put up my christmas decorations this year...i know, what?
i am already ready for christmas break. there are only 17 days until the center party that i am planning. i am so far from ready it's ridiculous. got to get to work tomorrow. but tonight i think i am going to forget all about it and watch brothers & sisters. now. goodnight.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I am a complete dork and just realized that music videos are on you tube...even old music videos. I thought you tube was just clips of hilarious home video that people made of their British children (ouch, charlie bit me)...so I am completely reliving the 90's tonight w/ my favorite band ever...found this gem. Adam looks so young...
Been thinking of this album (August & Everything After) a lot lately...ever since August (fitting, huh?). This is my favorite album ever-always has been and I wonder often if it always will be, and the first time I heard it I was laying on the floor of my high school boyfriend's basement room. This August he ended his life (there is no un-awkward way to write that is there?). He loved this album then. We loved this album. I wonder if he still did...I still do.
"There's things I remember, things I forget. I miss you, I guess that I should. 3500 miles away, what would you change if you could"
"I need a raincoat."I keep thinking of that evening, it was after a long day of forensics practice, we were acting partners for 3 years...I wish desperately I could remember the first song I heard from the album (of course I'd heard the radio releases and loved Mr. Jones and Round Here but I know it was one of the ones only a crows fan could name that left me speechless). I am assuming it was one of the first tracks-- it wasn't this track or "murder of one" as they are one of the last ones. I am thinking it could have been "sullivan street" or "perfect blue buildings". I am not sure why I have spent so much time since august trying to capture this memory. I think my subconscious thinks there is something in those lyrics. Not something to explain why, but maybe something to make me feel better. I think it will come to me eventually. I hope it will.
- twilight: saw it sunday evening w/ Keenan.
- scrapping --got 3 of the 5 challenges done
- baking: baked cinnamon rolls and a caramel pumpkin pie, along w/ cooked french onion pork chops
- taking photos in the brisk air: nil, oops
- thrifting: bought a desk (25$) lots of little golden books for cheap and about 100 children's letter blocks for projects. the desk is the best. it's gorgeous.
- working on christmas presents: i refuse to talk about christmas at this time as i am depressed completely about it.
- catching up on dvr'd shows: watched top chef,
- deciding what to make for mom's thanksgiving & procuring ingredients: decided on sweet potatoes and caramel pumpkin pie and french onion dip. Got everything except the sweet potatoes they will be cheaper in Salina.
- poring over etsy: nope...
- making my own christmas list: sort of...did think of a few things I want.
Friday, November 21, 2008
today, i saw this ad again on tv. and it brought me joy, again. not because the images or the message are joyful. in fact, it is the opposite. but the fact that someone in the mainstream media is talking about what feminists and other enlightened individuals have been speaking to for years is quite hopeful and brings me joy. if you haven't seen it...please see it here...go, dove.
"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive." Audre Lorde (she captivates me with her words...like ladders out of a dark place and into the light).
Thursday, November 20, 2008
scrapping --it happens to be a cybercrop weekend
taking photos in the brisk air
thrifting (i want wine glasses and vintage storage solutions so that I can copy Rachel)
working on christmas presents
catching up on dvr'd shows
deciding what to make for mom's thanksgiving & procuring ingredients
poring over etsy
making my own christmas list
what are you doing?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I feel like I am suddenly back in the land of the living...it's interesting. There have been a few things I've done in the past week that have brought me back to this place...one of them is SLEEP...narcotic-free sleep. I have slept about 33 hours in the last 3 days...without any drug-help. This is amazing. I have woken up throughout the nights but am able to stay relaxed and doze back to sleep soon.
I may actually make it...after all. ;)
Monday, November 17, 2008
That quote is so appropriate for my day-to-day life. I encounter many people on a day to day basis who think that my job is something strange, or "sweet", or never really going to make anything any better and it's hard at times to stay above the criticism and know what it is I know: all people have value. The folks I work with are creative and kind and forthcoming and honest and worthy of having a good life. They also can be mean and angry and furtive, immature and loud and inappropriate...I don't really know a person who isn't all these things at some points in their lives.
I am so irritated today because I feel so terrible, I don't want to be at work, but one of my employees called-off sick and I also have missed a lot of work since I've been here due to migraines. I am achy and nauseated and feel that apparently my flu shot a month ago did bumpkis for this strain that I must have. Trying to get all my work done efficiently and just hope the time passes quickly. I am really on the fence about my career lately, actually I am not on the fence about my career, but my place of employment. I am unsure of what to do (boy that was redundant, as I just told you I was "on the fence").
In somewhat more hopeful news...on Saturday I did a little "spirit card" reading w/ myself. I bought some art therapy cards at the conference I attended this weekend and you can use them similar to tarot cards (although they are a lot milder in nature). I drew the "healing sleep" card a few times (out of 55 cards) as what should be an "outcome forthcoming." I am hoping there is something to that. Goodness knows I need some healing sleep.
Back to work...blech.