Wednesday, September 19, 2012

we've got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it

Dearest Sloane,

I have gotten a lot done for the wedding (which you call "mommy and daddy's party!) lately (out of pure necessity) as it is coming so quickly.  But the most interesting thing that I've encountered lately isn't on a blog, or on pinterest it's right in my face.

Every evening while I make supper (admittedly it's usually your fave toddler foods of the moment which make me cringe wondering if I am giving you too many nitrates -- in the form of hot dogs, or too much processed cheese in the form of Kraft) I watch The View.  I always talk to you about it because it's important to me that you see these women with their own talk show (a field that during my lifetime has always been dominated by males). 

On 9/12/12 I came home and got my daily dose of The View as I always do (even though I've had a love- hate relationship with it since it's I describe it as my 4th circle of hell, and here I write an open letter to it's wishy-washy never completely pro-woman women co hosts). 

Sometimes though I just LOVE what I hear on the show.  On 9/12/12 one of my favorite actresses was visiting the ladies: Amy Adams.  She is currently on tour for her new film Trouble with the Curve, which her costar is Clint Eastwood (who is currently abuzz with his empty-chair speech at the RNC).  They asked her if she saw the speech and she said she had not and that she was on a bit of an "internet diet". The co hosts inquired about this and she told them that only a few minutes into Facebook perusing she finds herself feeling sad about other people's vacations and time they spend together as a family as she is working a lot as of late.

Even though it's illogical I assumed that Amy Adams would be the one provoking jealousy on Facebook not succumbing to it. 

Then a few days later I got together with some friends and one of my close friends admitted to me that she is no longer reading any blogs (including mine) because it was causing her to compare herself to other people and making her feel like she was a bad parent (which she isn't, she's phenomenal, I made sure to tell her this in person as she is no longer a blog reader). 

Then I thought about all of this together, and about parenting you.  I do not want you to be like me.  I do not want you to be riddled with anxiety over every choice you make, trying to make everything PERFECT.  I do not want you checking into social media only to feel less than, or to feel like a failure that your child isn't eating quinoa and whole-wheat bagels happily while learning french.  Instead I want to enjoy our evenings together so that you will enjoy your time with me and that you will enjoy your time with your own child someday. 

I am sorry that I sometimes try to capture the perfect moment instead of living in the one we are given.

Here's to all the imperfection in our lives.  Mommy did not edit, or censor these in any way.  These are's what we've been up to in month 20. 

Instead of focusing on what makes these pictures imperfect, I am just going to tell you that we had so much fun watching you be the flower girl at Uncle Matt's wedding, you loved the reception and cried when we finally put you in bed signing "more" party.  We took you to the mountains and let you dance all night at aunt Heidi's wedding.

You also had a blast going to Brielle's birthday party and playing with your cousins. 

We love all our moments with you, even when they aren't picture perfect,


title courtesy of Jason Mraz, I won't give up