Tuesday, November 30, 2010

it's all about the wordplay

1:11 am, watching Hoarders quietly so as not to wake Keenan, propped up on 19 pillows so to sleep at a 85 degree angle, I have my first non-baby related thought in weeks!

I attended a conference on hoarding a few years ago in Wichita Kansas. It was an especially enlightening psychological conference. I did not learn much in grad school regarding hoarding but after 2 full days of lectures and workshops I felt much more informed. Since then there is a series on A&E called Hoarders. I was watching two episodes last night (thank-you heartburn and insomnia) and noticed that in all four of the case studies a similar sense of anxiety from the trucks that came to help clear the hoard.

All four of the cases the individual who hoards had a visceral reaction to the word "JUNK" hugely written on the fleet of trucks sent to "help" them. Of course, you may see junk as a slang term or even a term of endearment for a voluptuous backside. But it is clear that people do not want their things (even if it's old food and every newspaper since 1961) called "JUNK", or their whole neighborhood seeing that they have 17 truckloads of "JUNK".

I understand that this is advertising with this company, however the clinical psychologists who attend these interventions must have the knowledge that a truck with no words at all on it may be a better suited idea, after all the individual who hoards is usually in crisis during the part of the intervention where the things are put onto the truck.

My point is: words matter. Connotations matter. These people are in crisis, please help them by being sensitive to this.

*Neither here or there for this post but also I doubt many of these interventions work just like an addiction, or any other behavior pattern hoarding takes a long time to change and it is unlikely this is accomplished in only a few days and then kept up.

title courtesy of Jason Mraz: Wordplay

Monday, November 29, 2010

You call me a mountain...I call you the sea

Just thinking today about naming...this seems to be the hottest button issue. EVERYONE asks what her name will be (shortly after they ask the due date and the sex of the baby).

We have a short list of names we like, but I am unable to commit yet. I am not just being secretive.

Although if I was only fictionally pregnant I would name her from this list...

Scout (like Miss Jean Louise's nickname from my favorite book To Kill A Mockingbird)-- In real life people will tell you this is a dog's name

Lux (like Lux Lisbon of The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides) Lux in real life falls into the "a little TOO strange for the gals I run with" category. Also it may be in bad form to name her deliberately after a fictional girl who commits suicide.

Bette (like Bette Davis, consummate actress of my favorite era) Alice is back on trend again, why not? sigh... Keenan is just not big on Bette.

Greer (like Greer Garson, another actress) although somewhat unisex sounding and uncommon, Greer does rhyme with "rear" and I thought that might be setting her up for all sorts of easy distasteful sex jokes...at least with the real names we have on the list kids have to get a little more creative.

Sylvia (like Ms. Plath) we could call her "Sylvie" but alas, again a little too dark of a namesake.

On to other things that people seem to ask about a lot...the nursery colors/theme/progress...Here is a pic of the crib skirt fabric and the spindles of the crib (those were quite impossible to spray paint and quite tedious to brush paint, thank goodness for my friends). The colors are maybe not totally "true" but they are close. I also have a totally fun large plum colored shag area rug and have lots of yellow accents.

Lima bean is apparently already spoiled...case in point-- she is having a total of 5 baby showers. It's a bit ridiculous (I'm kind of embarrassed to tell people), but also makes me feel incredibly blessed and special. Here is her swag from the shower held at work. She also got the cutest book shelf that looks like a dollhouse (to hold that huge stack of books she got). She is now 3 showers in and has 2 left to go and I need to get all of her loot washed, assembled, organized and thank you notes written (I've got to keep up with Emily Post).

Much to my chagrin most of my posts are about my impending motherhood, in fact there is not much else to them. I struggle now to make a rational non-baby thought. I try to keep up with the political climate but it leaves me depressed. Sigh, back to my "to do list". One day my brain will return, right?

title courtesy of Ingrid Michealson

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

let's make peace tonight

This is the home stretch and it is time to pull it together.

Having all the nursery furniture acquired (by my Craigslist maven of a friend Whitney) and painted (by my guerilla girlfriends who aren't afraid to spend a whole Sunday in the DIY-trenches with me Whitney and Kate) and delivered (by Whitney and her mom always-posh and polished Paula) and then sealed (by myself and lima bean's daddy) and then assembled (by daddy as it is apparently the rite of passage to fatherhood) has greatly decreased my anxiety and makes me happy. I like walking by the nursery and seeing that my little girl has a space in this world (and not just in my body).

I am trying not to compare myself or my pregnancy to anything else before it or around it and when the depression comes I try to just recognize it, own it and realize that my feelings are valid, and that I not only don't have to do things like everyone else does, I don't have to want to do them either (this does not mean I have 2 heads or will be a horrible mom).

Things to do before the lima bean makes her arrival:

  • pre-register at the hospital
  • make a playlist for the ipod and pack bags (mine, k's and lima bean's)
  • write thank you notes for all the generous friends and family we have
  • purchase a car seat/travel system & get it installed
  • finish the nursery
  • choose a name and a middle name (can be done upon arrival)
  • finish the first reading of Alice in Wonderland (we are about 3/4 of the way through it)
  • achieve a society that has no wage gap, rape or domestic violence

Now for the sublist...nursery

  • attach drawer pulls to the dresser
  • paint the nightstand (it's not quite the same creamy white as the other pieces)
  • DIY the lampshade
  • acquire perfect shade of green paint to paint the mirror
  • finish poly-ing the crib (I missed a couple spots)
  • DIY some art, hang said art
  • DIY crib skirt via tutorial on Young House Love
  • figure out storage solutions
  • wash clothing 0-3mos and put 6mos-2T into storage bins
  • organize closet
  • hang shelves
  • finish DIY mobile
  • secure changing pad to the dresser

title courtesy of the indigo girls: let's make peace tonight