reality strikes back

I had a "back to reality" weekend. It was comforting to try and fit back into the routine again.

• Saw Angels & Demons Friday night (solo of course): <3
• Cleaned (really cleaned) the bathroom & kitchen
• Grocery shopping & Target (the real measure of returning to reality)
• Watched the season finales of LOST, Survivor & Mistresses + a Medium episode
• Extra sleep (much needed)
• Pedicure <3
• Upgraded my phone...got the LG Lotus <3>
• Breakfast at First Watch w/ Keenan
• Cooked my french onion pork chop skillet (still no appetite to eat it though)
• Sorted through & purged the mail, the junk drawer and half my closet (moving on June 8)!
• Coupon clipping

On Sunday night, after Survivor and In Treatment, I felt so sad to start this week. I know I will be swamped at work until at least Thursday (tomorrow is our Luau for the individuals, they are pumped for pizza & dancing!). And it's just another week where I barely see Keenan. Trying to keep my spirits up...

grammy

thanks everyone for the prayers, warm thoughts, cards, posts, messages, texts, emails and sweet phone calls. my amazing grandma passed away Saturday 5/9/09. her memorial service was beautiful and held in her home church in Sterling, Colorado.

thank you again everyone for keeping in touch with me and letting me know you care in this sad time.

unfortunately my family also lost another great woman, a friend of mine and my sister for 10 years Bev Stutterheim. She passed away Monday 5/11/09 while we were in Colorado. It was unexpected as well- I am not sure the shock of her passing has lifted yet. I hardly know what to think.

heavy boots.

"if we don't talk and we don't breathe, then time won't pass, and time's all we need." NJL

i spent my weekend frantically rushing 11 hours to colorado and then feeling the torturous part of love..knowing that even if i am holding onto you i can still lose you. and i will. and i can't stop it.

when there really isn't anything to say i find myself looking for comfort in others words. here's what i've been reading during these days. i'm vacillating between the book i am currently reading and one of my favorites...these words are all from my favorite.

"Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future."

"In bed that night I invented a special drain that would be underneath every pillow in New York, and would connect to the reservoir. Whenever people cried themselves to sleep, the tears would all go to the same place, and in the morning the weatherman could report if the water level of the Reservoir of Tears had gone up or down, and you could know if New York is in heavy boots."

"The end of suffering does not justify the suffering, and so there is no end to suffering."

"I hope that one day you will have the experience of doing something you do not understand for someone you love."

jonathan safran foer....extremely loud & incredibly close