Friday, September 18, 2009

only love...

although it may seem melodramatic, at best, i lost something today.

When my grandma died unexpectedly in May I began feeling, in a large way, the loss of my childhood. I began to know that things, that were once so real will become just stories, and only exist in my heart & memory.

Who thought that losing a TV show would be another part of that loss? Guiding Light is off the air today. I have watched it my entire life.

I used to pretend to take a nap but listen to the show and sneak into the hallway to get a glimpse of Mindy Sue Lewis, back when she was a prima ballerina.

It is the touchstone for the women in my family, my mother, me and my grandma. (My great grandmother listened to it on the radio)

Every night when I talk to my mom we touch base on GL: what we thought was ridiculous, remembering old storylines & talking about what should happen next. When I visited with my grandma it was likewise. I loved that she subscribed to Soap Digest, when I stayed at her house I would read the whole year of them.

Maybe it's fitting that I lost Guiding Light with my grandma-- the end of my childhood.

Thanks Guiding, for all the fun chatter topics for the last 29 years...thanks for the ridiculous stuff (like cloning Reva: which made my grandma consider quitting watching, or giving Blake's twins two different fathers), for the heartbreak (like when you killed off Maureen Bauer after her last line was "you have broken my heart.") for the unbelievable (bringing back Philip, so that we could all say goodbye in style), for the shameless (Reva baptizing herself the 'slut of Springfield') for the suspense (Reva's on trial for killing Annie Dutton's unborn child) for the torture (wondering if Lizzie would ever reunite with Sarah) and for the sweet (Lillian finally being a bride, letting Fletcher help Alexandra grieve, Sarah & Lizzie jumping rope, Michelle finding her way back to Danny, Bauer BBQs, Harley & Gus' wedding, & Vanessa walking into the house Matt built her).



avol2 said...

Hey I get it. In May my father passed away. In June my daughter graduated from HS, and in July I took her to a US military Academy and we have very limited contact with her.

I thought those two things would tear me down, but now add the loss of GL, I am just wondering what else could happen (but hoping it doesn't).

I've watch GL since 1991... WOW its been a crazy ride, but I certainly will miss Springfield.

The entire family (including my son and hubby watch the show with me every night..

There is an extra 40 minutes to do something else I guess.

Breann said...

thought of you at 2:01 and knew you were already crying...lots. i love you and i can't wait to spend a day with you soon.

Margaret Mary said...

I couldn't believe what I was reading when i stumbled upon your blog. If it weren't for the 10 years difference in our age, I swear, our stories are so similar. I began watching GL with my Grandmother as a baby, basically, 39 years ago. Even when "Dede" was unable to live on her own, at 3:00 her TV was turned to GL for her. And my Mom I don't think EVER missed a day. I remember so many days during college summers sitting back at home with Mom and Dede watching the daily grind in Springfield. We lost Dede this past June. I may have over-cried today realizing that this momentous day was gone-- without her. Sure, it was sad to see the longest running broadcast leave the air. But it meant so much more to those who made it more than a show. It was part of my childhood, my adolescence, my adult life. It was fun to laugh at the ridiculosity of some of those story lines and it was even funnier to see Mom or Dede cry at some of them. How did we all get so caught up? I'll miss GL very much and I know Dede would have hated this day. I so wish we could have spent it together-- laughing and crying together just like the old days.