Thursday, December 17, 2009

my heart is full and my door's always open, you come any time you want

It's roughly 30 days away from my 30th birthday. 2009 didn't quite bring what I was thinking it would. But alas, I must be just where I am supposed to be.

It's interesting how later in life you can see the same thing differently. Here are some things I see differently now.

Pop Culture Miscellany
1. Scarlett O'Hara (Gone w/ the Wind) was a fool. I used to love her, identify with her. Now I just realize how much she lied to herself.

2. Daisy Buchanan (The Great Gatsby) was a horrible person. I first identified with her, then Gatsby and now I am somewhere between Gatsby and the narrator Nick Carraway.

3. All those songs about secret love affairs are not romantic. They are sad.

4. I hope Jay Z is wrong. I don't want 30 to be "the new 20". I don't need to be "hot still". I just want to be better.

Life Miscellany

1. My mother was always right.

2. You can no more make someone love you than you can make the sun rise.

3. Everything cannot be your fault, unless you are also all powerful. (I am not, therefore, it isn't all my fault).

4. There will always be someone who is prettier, and younger.

5. I am no longer attracted to musicians. In my early twenties I was enamored with musicians as a whole. No one can break your heart like someone who uses your life/words/fights/quirks as material later, and then writes it into essential immortality.

6. It isn't all my fault, but some of it was.

7. Forgiving yourself feels better than losing 10 pounds. It might even look better than losing 10 pounds.

title courtesy of Maroon 5: She will be loved


Mellissa Rudder, MT, future MPH Candidate said...

. . . and loving yourself feels better than falling in love a million times over.

On that, I would pinky-swear.

rachel whetzel said...

Ooooh!! Seven. I like 7 the most.

Ashley said...

I like you.
30 isn't that far away for me & it scares me, but sounds like you're ready.

Sarah said...

Shan, you have become so wise. Seriously. This is a beautiful post.