as I sat in my hometown church on Sunday I realized what day it was. the first sunday of the last full week of july: the first day of church camp. nostalgia ensues. some of my best memories are of camp. there are particular summers i would live that week over and over if i could (1992, 1995, 1997).
even though i haven't been to camp in 7 years i remember the schedule like it wasn't that long ago. this morning i knew i'd be performing my duties for cabin clean up. and this afternoon as I am blogging it's free time but me and the girls in my cabin would definitely be figuring out what dress we were going to wear at church tonight and how we were going to do our hair. after all,supper starts in about an hour.
so sitting in church, i decided what i really miss about camp (besides my childhood, and my friends from then) is the way it made me feel. i used to feel that the whole year could crash around me because in that week i would center myself and become strong again. i would not only improve myself but i would become courageous enough to hope again. (probably seems cheesy, but it's true).
so if you can't go to camp, you can bring camp to you, right? sort of. i've declared this week mini-camp. I will truly focus on things that will center me...i am not talking about pampering myself or doing yoga...(although those things are necessary too). i am talking about getting down to the nitty-gritty.
today is the first day of mini-camp. today is all about confronting the problems that bring me down every day. the biggest hurdle (in my control) to me right now is money. it makes me sick (literally)to think about and deal with.
therefore, i avoid dealing with it. with the avoidance comes a mess. tonight i stayed at work until my mess was figured out and my budget was dismantled and then put back together again.
i of course am sitting here broke again. but everything is not only being paid but i have a plan and i am feeling much less stressed out. confronting that problem and why it gets that way in my life was a big hurdle. mini-camp got me right over it.
i have not set the schedule for the week yet. i am going to try to let my heart be my guide. i hope that it will tell me what's most important and that i will go from there.